Bean strops as Bell Inn enter Crumble City

The Bell Inn lost a game they were totally on top of on a completely frozen pitch away at Briston.

After silly antics the previous night, most players turned up very late and the game didn’t kick off until 10.45.

When the team was finally announced, subsitute Neil ‘Bean’ Anderson wasn’t happy being on the bench, walking back to the changing rooms in disgust, sticking his fingers up at his team-mates.

He also refused to run the line, which resulted in no linesman for the Bell Inn’s defence.

His attitude is simply terrible and he needs to take a long hard took at himself. Although this could be dangerous as he is one of the uglyest people I know.

The Bell Inn took the lead early doors after a deep corner from Josh Farrow found Tom Brown, who laid it across the box to the worst player at the club, Robbie Stone. Somehow he bundled it home. 1-0.

It could have been more, a lot more, but poor finishing and selfishness paid its price as the Bell Inn completely crumbled and found themselves 2-1 down at half time.

This resulted in a lot of moaning. Which looks pathetic on the pitch. But it is funny.

Half Time : Briston 2 v 1 Bell Inn.

Barnham Broom’s finest started the second half totally on top again, but managed to concede 2 more. This was completely unrealistic as stats showed the Bell Inn had 80% possession.

The impressive Tom Brown pulled a goal back with 25 minutes to go, after a neat chest down and left foot strike from a Farrow set-piece.

Ian Babb made it 4-3 after simply brilliant work down the left by Tom Brown, leaving Babb with a simple open goal at the back post.

However, defensive calamity Richard Donovan made his second clanger in as many days and basically scored an own goal, making it 5-3 and game over.

There was still time for a Jack Tarrant to two-foot someone, Babb to miss a few sitters and Tom Brown to continue to dominate.

However, it was a poor defeat. We simply should not have lost.

Even season-ticket holder Paul Donovan revealed that he wish he hadn’t come to watch.

Final Score : Briston 5 v 3 Bell Inn.

(Stone, T.Brown, Babb)

DREAM TEAM RATINGS

Big Tom – 7 – Solid in goal.

Stu Henning – 7 – Went forward well.

Rich Donovan – 7 – Error prone.

Robbie Stone – 6 – Moaned.

Reece Ashman – 8 – Filled in at left back, brilliant.

Jack Tarrant – 8 – Potentially on for Player of the Season.

Saggy Brown – 5 – Not his greatest game.

Josh Farrow – 8 – Class.

Joe Pattison – 7 – Yet to score for the Bell Inn but claims to be the best striker in the world. #goaldrought

Tom Brown – 8 – STAR MAN – One goal, two assists.

Ian Babb – 7 – Missed a few good chances.

SUB

Neil Anderson – 1 – Attitude problems.

2011 hasn’t been a great year for the Bell Inn. More loses than wins, more arguing than praise.

Only 7 games to go, promotion is still on the cards if we win the final 7 games. It is do-able with our squad.

But we need to stop defending like tw*ts and stop missing easy chances.

This blog is poor, I know, but I really can’t be bothered to write it.

It breaks my heart seeing the team I love turn into a complete joke.

I am heartbroken.

Regards,

Tom ‘I still have it, when I try. Moral, start trying every week. Reality, probably not’ Brown.

Brown back up front as Bell Inn win

The Bell Inn won their first game in over a month, mainly due to Tom Brown being back up front.

Brown, 25, who usually carries the team single-handedly, dominated from start to finish as the Bell Inn ran up 7-1 winners.

Although the striker failed to score, he played a major part in each goal and left the pitch to a standing ovation from the fans, which included Paul Donovan, Nick Appleton, Luke Rackham, Claire Butler and Phil.

Recently, Brown has been used in goal, on the left wing and substitute but it simply hasn’t worked.

Not because the ‘striker’ played poorly himself in these makeshift roles, but that the team simply couldn’t score many goals without him up top.

The day started poorly as Liam Ward and the forever AWOL Ben Spalding calling off. New striker Joe Pattison was also controversially dropped from the squad.

Pattison, who claims to have scored 50 goals in the Crown and Fire Norwich League at the age of 16, is rumoured to be behind ‘footballing jokes’ Neil Anderson and Josh Eyre in the pecking order.

Albeit a player being sick 2 minutes before kick off, the Bell Inn started well and Stu Henning opened the scoring with a trademark free kick.

Trademark? Yes. Hard to score? No. I could have scored it with my eyes closed. However, by striking it in off the post made it look a lot better.

Actually, that is a lie. Before this happened the Bell Inn went 1-0 down.

Josh Eyre, arguably the club’s worst outfield player, opted to go in goal to help the goalkeeping crisis at the club.

Although looking silly wearing his favourite jogging bottoms, Eyre did look the part due to him being tall. Being tall and being a goalkeeper is a good sign.

However, 1 minute into the game, the unbelievable happened. Eyre confirmed that he is actually WORSE in goal than he is outfield.

An opposition player ran down the right and fired a pathetic shot at Eyre. Eyre caught it, then dropped in. In fact, it literally went through his body and into the back of the net.

Rumours have it that Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger is interested in signing Eyre as their new substitute keeper.

Manager/Brown’s preferred strike partner Ian Babb netted the second after neat play from Josh Farrow.

Farrow, who gets paid to play on Saturday’s for local side Cromer, for some reason decided to drop down about 35 leagues to join the Bell Inn bandwagon.

However, frustration did show as at one point during the match after dribbling the ball out for a goal kick, Farrow picked up the corner flag and had a hissy fit, resulting in throwing it on the floor.

He looked ridiculous. Child-like. He needs to grow up. But his girlfriend is quite good looking so he can get away with such pathetic actions like this.

The Bell Inn then took control as Farrow scored two decent goals. Babb also added to his tally, the impressive Jack Tarrant scored from 18 yards and even Neil ‘Bean’ Anderson scored.

Well, it will go down as an own goal as his 10 yard shot was flying off for a throw-in, but somehow got deflected in.

Final Score : Bell Inn 7 v 1 AFC Oak.

On a sad note, I am very disappointed Mulbarton legend Karl Hayward bottled the game.

Hayward, who dominated a few months back when playing central midfield for AFC Oak against the Bell Inn, called off injured.

This however is no surprise, as he spends 90% of his life injured. Hopefully he recovers soon.

SUN RATINGS

Josh Eyre – 5 – Actually played ok apart from his howler. Saved two one-on-ones. But the howler was bad. Very bad.

Stu Henning – 7 – Very well taken free kick and burst forward a lot. Shocking jumper though. Should not be wearing clobber like that.

Richard Donovan – 8 – Solid. Also rated better looking than Brown at the UEA last night. I think they felt sorry for him.

Robbie Stone – 6 – Turned up in a mess. Played like a mess. Subbed at half time. Good banter though.

Danny Bland – 7 – Will be playing his last game for the Bell Inn next week. Will be missed.

Neil Anderson – 7 – Improving but still technically worse than Josh Eyre. I didn’t think that was possible.

Jack Tarrant – 8 – STAR MAN – Won man of the match on a toss of a coin against Adam Saggy Brown.

Adam Brown – 8 – Lost man of the match on a toss of a coin against Jack Tarrant.

Josh Farrow – 8 – Now level with Tom Brown on goals for the season. Unrealistic.

Tom Brown – 10 – Can’t vote myself for man of the match. But I know, and everyone knows, that I was.

Ian Babb – 7 – Enjoyed playing up top with Tom Brown, brings the best out of him.

SUBS

Paul Munday – 8 – Very impressive second half. Pushing for a start next week.

Finally, apologies for the lack of blog action. I have been very busy scoring goals for my ‘favourite club’ Mulbarton Wanderers. I have also been very busy being hungover and betting on Matty Etherington to score first goals.

But a very good performance today. I hate to say it and you know I don’t like to big myself up, but we look so much better when I am up front.

I create chances, I usually score goals and I make defending impossible for the other team.

ALSO. Do not forget the 23rd December. Bell Inn Xmas night out featuring Dubai migrant Nathan Sadler. Even though most of us don’t really want to see him, apparently he wants to see us. So make sure you attend. Starting at my house.

Regards,

Tom ‘You are allowed to be arrogant when you are as good as me.’ Brown.