The Final Awaits Bell Inn FC

By Neil Anderson

The Bell Inn beat King’s Lynn side Lynn Napier to reach the Norfolk FA Intermediate Cup Final and will receive a brand new kit for their success.

On a frosty and misty Sunday morning joint managers Anderson and Brown were at the pitch preparing for one the biggest games in club history at 9am. This including roping the touchlines to keep, what was expected to be, a record attendance at bay.

With an hour to go before kick off the majority of the team turned up as told with the exception of Robbie who was late as per usual; he claims he was still washing the kit at 5am after a heavy one last night! Reece also turned up 2 minutes before Kick off in typical fashion after allegedly spending the night in Cromer; that being a Premier Inn on Prince of Wales with a girl who now has no shoes.

Prior to kick off Brown and Anderson gave a ‘motivational’ team talk but the players seemed more bothered in listening to music as favoured manger Anderson brought his docking station.

Lynn Napier were today’s opponents and they arrived in style, turning up on a 53 seated coach with about 25 spare seats. Little was known about Napier as they have a poor league record but have had some very good results in the cup. They also played in an all orange strip, this looked awful.

Bell Inn took hold of the game early on and dominated possession on what became a more and more boggy pitch as the game went on; as it became heavier, Napier’s challenges became worse and 2 of their players were cautioned in the first 20 minutes. The latter of the bookings was following a horrendous foul on Tarrant (or Dale) in the box. Josh Farrow stood up, took the penalty and scored in front of his watching mum and dad. I bet they were proud.

The game carried on as it started, more challenges were flying in and Napier were trying and pull one back; their only threat seemed to be lumping the ball in the box from set plays and using their height advantage which didn’t work.

Jack Tarrant put the home side 2-0 up after some great link up play with Pattison on the edge of the box. Tarrant, stayed in on Saturday night reminiscing about his trip to see the Lion King musical the day before, somehow found the bottom left corner after kicking the ground and hurting himself in the process.

More chances were missed and Luke Appleton’s has to be mentioned, it was horrific. Nobody seemed to say anything at the time but on reflection he headed wide from 2 yards out following a Farrow corner. Something that goalless Richard Donovan may have even scored, but then again that is unlikely.

HT Bell Inn 2 – 0 Lynn Napier

The second half started in similar fashion to the first and The Bell Inn had several chances to put the game beyond Napier. Simpson was a constant threat up front hassling the defence every time it got near them and Freemantle was making people look silly as he normally does. Robbie even got confused watching him from the sideline. Simpson’s persistence paid off as after Napier’s centre half went flying in, despite being booked was shown a second yellow and sent off.

Napier could have been reduced to 9 men minutes later as the other cautioned centre half made a terrible foul on Simpson but the referee gave him one final chance. The player was then boasting to Ashman that he had been cautioned 4 games in a row, something not to be proud of.

The game was then put beyond Napier as Simpson made it 3-0 with a goal inside the box; good work by Freemantle saw the ball end up at the strikers’ feet who tucked it away neatly.

It could have been 4-0 had Adam Brown’s header not been spectacularly saved by the visiting Keeper. The miss of the game came down to Pattison, with the ball crossed by Ashman all he had to do was tap it in, he didn’t, he blazed it over the bar. Afterwards he admitted he had planned his celebration by running down the touchline and high fiving the 50 – 60 spectators; this made it even more embarrassing.

Bland was booked in usual fashion after his weekly erratic challenge; this was after escaping a booking in the first half. His mother and father looked disappointed in him, let alone his dog.

Lynn Napier pulled a goal back and I didn’t see it as I was going to get Vaseline to patch up Liam Ward, who somehow cut his head after doing a forward roll between 2 players. Their goal went down as a Donovan OG.

FT Bell Inn 3 – 1 Lynn Napier (J.Farrow, Tarrant, Simpson)

The Bell Inn now face King’s Lynn side Chilvers FC in the final on Sunday 28^th April at the Field of Dreams, FDC, Norwich.

I also hope Will Farrow and James Hyde who missed the game are having fun skiing in Andorra, poor effort from you 2. Dropped.

A special thanks goes to Phil for this week for organising and helping sort the pitch out for the game. Another thanks goes to all the dribs and drabs who came to watch and encouraged your favourite Sunday team to win. Tarrant admitted after the game it sent shivers down his spine to score in front of a big crowd.

Tough few weeks ahead and hopefully we will be able to secure the league title soon

Regards

Neil ‘I’m better looking than Brown’ Anderson

PLAYER RATINGS

Chris Richmond – 7 – Didn’t have much to do but claimed the ball when he needed to. Wants a pink kit.

Jamie Butler – 8 – One of only 3 players to go out was solid again at the back. Superb

Daniel Bland – 7 – Did what he needed to do. Booked.

Richard Donovan – 8 – I must be nice to him. Worked well with Luke

Luke Appleton – 8 – Brilliant at the back. Missed a sitter.

Josh Farrow – 8 – Worked well on the left especially after being a doubt for the game as he had a tooth

removed.

Jack Tarrant – 9 – Loves sliding around in the mud. Took the kit home.

Adam Brown – 9 – Loves a Cruyff turn. Played well.

Simon Freemantle – 9 – Makes people look silly. Grumpy when subbed.

Joseph Pattison – 7 – Would have been an 8 but missed a tap in.

Dale Simpson – 9 – STAR MAN – brilliant from start to finish. Didn’t stop running.

SUBS

Reece Ashman – 7 – Delivered some good crosses.

Liam Ward – 7 – playing well until he grazed his head.

Robbie Errington – 7 – Should have scored against 10 men.

Tom Brown addition:

1. I was very happy when I saw Angela Farrow, Christine Bland and Julie Simpson turn up in the teams colours. They all looked very attractive and told me they could ‘teach me a thing or two’ during the game.

2. Nick Eagle was superb in his new role as club physio, patching up a battered Liam Ward. Apologies to Liam’s mother Rachel; I will try to keep him out of trouble in future.

3. To see a footballer as good as Ben Thompson in the crowd was pleasing. However, when he asked if he could join we bluntly said no.

4. Happy 60th Birthday to Paul Donovan for Tuesday.Despite being 60, most girls between the age of 20 and 28 find him more attractive than his son Richard.

5. And finally, chairman Ian Babb passes on his congratulations this afternoon in his brief spell from crawling out from under his girlfriends thumb. (Only joking Babb)

County Cup semi-final preview

The Bell Inn are all set for their County Cup semi-final tie this weekend as the rain has cleared just in time for their clash with Lynn Napier.

This is a huge achievement by the club, who are generally just a group of lads who are stuck in dead end jobs and live for getting drunk at the weekend.

Napier, from Kings Lynn, come into the game with a poor league record but have produced some outstanding cup results, previously knocking out Divison 3B ‘big-dogs’ Schoolhouse FC.

Unfortunetly for the Bell Inn, James Hyde and Will Farrow will miss the game as they are going away on holiday. This type of commitment really has to be questioned.

To make matters worse, this means sponsors Pips Skips will also be absent.

However, Mrs Hyde has sent a message of support to the team ahead of the big game.

Personally, by treat us, I hope Pips Skips mean an all-exclusive trip to Las Vegas for each member of the squad.

However, this does come with bad news. It probably means we have to play James Hyde in the final (if we get there).

Bell Inn fans from all around the country have already started to make the trip to Norfolk, with many of them being spotted around Norwich city centre in the teams colours today.

This fan was spotted in McDonalds at lunchtime and then again 30 minutes later down London Street.

Two other fans, believed to be from London, were also spotted walking around Norwich pretending to be dustbin men.

And finally two more. One enjoying a coffee at Starbucks and another chilling out in his van.

It is great to see people already wearing the clubs colours and we look forward to an attendance of 50+ at the ground come Sunday.

This weekend also see’s the 60th birthday of long-term fan Paul Donovan. The whole squad wish him a very happy birthday.

Below is the squad and each players score prediction.

REECE ASHMAN (4-1 Bell Inn, Reece Ashman hat-trick)

LIAM WARD (Bell Inn 3-0, Ward 23, 70, 88)

CHRIS RICHMOND (3-1 Bell Inn)

ROBBIE STONE (4-2 Bell Inn, lots of love kit man)

DALE SIMPSON (4-1 Bell Inn, Dale hat-trick)

JOSH FARROW (4-2 us obviously)

JACK TARRANT (4-1 Bell Inn, Donovan own goal)

JOE PATTISON (5-2 Bell Inn)

ADAM BROWN (5-1 Bell Inn, A.Brown first goal)

RICHARD DONOVAN (5-1, Donovan header)

SIMON FREEMANTLE (2-0 win)

LUKE APPLETON (4-1 win)

DANNY BLAND (3-1 Bell Inn, Donovan to score an own goal)

JAMIE BUTLER (5-2 Bell Inn)

Surprisingly, only two players have predicted that we keep a clean sheet. And NO ONE thinks we will score more than 5….

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10.30am kick off Sunday at Barnham Broom.

Lynn Napier are bringing a coach full of people so get yourself down to watch.

Many of the clubs fans and critics have sent messages of support/criticism ahead of the game. Click on the link below to read.

Views on the Semi-Final

And finally, a big thanks to Daniel Gaskin and Darren Carter.

Although managers of Mulbarton, they are avid Bell Inn fans and have finally admitted that the Bell Inn are a bigger club.

Therefore, they are hoping to rest many of the Bell Inn players Saturday in order for them to be fully fit Sunday.

Kind regards,

Tom ‘taking pictures of random people in the street’ Brown.

Views on the Semi-Final

TB Blogs took the to streets to get the fans/players and other important people’s views on the game:

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KRISTIAN CARTER – Asked about how captain Richard Donovan would cope when facing a decent team?

During my recovery from surgery, I’ve been thinking a lot about the upcoming Bell Inn semi-final and their current captain Donovan.

I am worrying how he will fair coming up against decent opposition. Defending in Division 2B is one thing, stepping up to the plate against a top Kings Lynn side is another.

My hope is that Donovan’s inclusion in the recently published squad is only as a substitute. I can’t however see this happening.

If Brown and Anderson start Donovan, there will be a huge weakness in the centre of the defence.

I see the merits in that his hideously highlighted eyebrows will distract defenders and his baby soft hands, coupled with the inability to grow facial hair at the age of 27, will confuse oncoming attackers but I think these tactics will only work for the first 20-25 minutes.

Beyond this, he will then have only his technical prowess to fall back on.

I think he should be dropped. Play 3 at the back and utilize the attacking options available with the Bell Inn squad.

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JAMES HYDE – How will the Bell Inn fear without him?

Put it this way, I am very worried. Your chances have definitely been weakened to say the least.

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JAMES PIPE – Who is the key man?

For me, the key is Dale Simpsons touch.

The pitch needs to be at its usual bumpy standard. This allows Simpsons running to thrive as he doesn’t know where his run and bottle takes him, so nor will the opposition.

The fear is the pitch will be too flat and Carrow Road like meaning Simpsons dribbling will be nullified.

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JACK TARRANT – Are you scared that because they are from Kings Lynn they may hurt you?

It is always a danger when you play a team from a very strange town.

But, once they see we have Neil ‘Oscar Pistorius’ Anderson on the sidelines, it should stop any violent threat from them.

If that fails, I will just hide behind Donovan and hope they punch him instead.

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DARREN CARTER – As Tom Brown’s management idol, do you have any tips for him Sunday?

In fact I do.

In the words of the great Muhammad Ali, the Bell Inn boys should remember the following:

Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they’ve been given, than to explore the power they have to change it.

Impossible is not a fact, its an opinion.

Impossible is not a declaration, its a dare.

Impossible is potential, impossible is temporary, impossible is nothing.

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NEIL ANDERSON – Which player holds the key to success on Sunday?

Richard Donovan. As long as he doesn’t slip up at the back then I think we will be hard to break down.

Napier must be concerned with our attacking prowess running at them though. Simpson is key.

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ROB BINGHAM – What are you expecting to see on Sunday?

Now that Tom ‘AVB’ Brown is in control and Richard ‘alcoholic anonymous’ Donovan is captain, I expect a mature and controlled approach to the game.

Correct tactics will be in place, key decisions made at the right time and a strong unity on the pitch.

Now these two have stepped up their game so to speak, I expect the rest of the easily influenced sheep to follow your lead.

By sheep I mean Trumpet Boy (Danny Bland) and the muscle-bound Bean.

The Bell Inn are surely an impregnable unit.

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BEN HALL – Who is your favourite Bell Inn player and why?

I probably haven’t watched you enough this season to have a favourite player but on past experience I would have to say Rob Bingham.

He had a great performance in a game last season; I presume he is still in the squad?

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CHRIS SUTCLIFFE – You helped manage the Bell Inn when they lost the County Cup final two years ago. Can Brown and Anderson go a step further and win it?

You should yes.

You have a better selection of players. I am sure you will.

Two years ago, our star player Ben Spalding was on the bench due to injury. Had he have been able to play 90 minutes, I feel we’d have probably won or at the very least had a bit more energy.

Looking to the future, I am bringing my son Liam to the game and we can start pre-contract discussions.

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JOSH EYRE – Any words of encouragement to your ex-teammates?

I am confident that my team can go the distance.

The Bell Inn will always be the team closest to my heart despite me signing for the Jersey national team recently. (They are awful).

Since the foreign investment, the team have thrilled supporters worldwide. I hear television rights will boost transfer coffers further.

As a former ‘Ender’, I am proud to see the strides the club are making under current management. As long as we can keep the team out of the LCR we are sure to dominate.

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NICK EAGLE – You are missing the game Sunday despite being one of our loyal fans. Why?

Unfortunately, as the cold/wet weather appears to be leaving us and the days slowly brightening up, its time for my first round of golf in 2013.

Whilst this hasn’t been timed well given the nature of the game in question, it does give me time to reflect on my own football management career over a round of golf with my assistant Richard Tubb.

This is particularly important given the huge game I will be managing and playing/scoring in on Saturday.

All the best to the boys in bright yellow.

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WILL FARROW – Can the Bell Inn win without you?

I believe they can, despite the quickest player in the league being missing (myself).

I believe in the managers, well Brown because Bean is a clueless idiot.

We have strength and depth to demolish the opposition.

The key men in this squad are Bland, Butler and Freemantle.

Bland is what I want to be like when I grow up. He is hard and hench. However, he hasn’t scored for the Bell Inn this season I believe? I think he will score Sunday.

Freemantle is the most skilful player I have ever seen and Butler can player anywhere and still score.

To be fair, everyone is a quality player in this team apart from James Hyde, who will probably be as clumsy skiing as he is on the football pitch.

Good luck Sunday. Up the Bell Inn.

My prediction is 4-0. Simpson 2, Bland and Freemantle to score. Oh and don’t play my brother. He is sh*t.

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ADAM LEMMON – As Brown’s side-kick in life, how can you help him help the Bell Inn on Sunday?

Firstly, I would say the team need to eradicate all distractions in the lead up to the game. A quiet drink Saturday night is acceptable, but do not go lairy and definitely say off the white stuff.

The biggest distraction to Tom Brown is *****. The team need to ensure she does not attend the game. If she does manage to make her way there, I can guarantee the Bell Inn will not be in the final and will probably somehow get disqualified from next years competition.

My second point would be aimed at the team as a whole.

Focus fully on giving 100% effort on the day. The quality in the squad is at such a high level (excluding Bean) that with 100% effort the result should take care of itself.

Quality without effort is a recipe for disaster. You only need to look at Brown to see this.

Good luck and god bless.

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KIRSTY PARKER – As previous winner of Bell Inn WAG of the year, why have you quit the club?

I haven’t. My footballer boyfriend has. Did you want me back?

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PAUL MUNDAY – Will you let a player of my choice spend an hour alone with your girlfriend if we win?

Of course. What is mine is the Bell Inn’s.

However, I need a game ASAP.

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PHIL GARRARD – Do you think Brown and Bean have what it takes to take the Bell Inn to the final?

Only if they DON’T play.

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JAMES BALICKI – You have always hated the Bell Inn. Do you want them to win Sunday?

Despite having a number of friends in the Bell Inn team, my hatred for the club is still undeniable.

For this reason, I would love to see them win on Sunday, only so they can then suffer the true heartache of losing in the final.

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JESSICA FORD – Do you think Brown or Bean is better looking?

I am afraid Bean is better looking. He looks like he’d be good in the sack.

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RICHARD DONOVAN – As captain, what are you expecting from the lads Sunday?

The is by far the best Bell Inn team I have played in. We just need to keep doing what we have been doing all season.

If everyone gives 100% I have no doubt in my mind that we will be attending another final.

Also, despite recent criticism from certain people, I would like to thank the management for their continued support and faith in me.

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NATHAN SADLER – As a Bell Inn hero, do you have any words of encouragement for the team?

To win, only 4 players maximum are allowed to go out the night before. Be solid for the first 20 minutes and do the simple things right.

Don’t let the record breaking fans make you nervous, let them fuel your fight in the match.

Make sure the home firm picks out early on any tools from the other team and wind them up from the first minute.

When you win, get absolutely smashed and enjoy the moment (someone look after Rich).

Best of luck lads, really hope you reach the final and actually win it this time.

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STEVE FROM THE PUB

Fantastic results so far both in the cup and the league, keep it up guys and we look forward to you being in the final.

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And finally a few words from our chairman. Mr Ian Babb.

Firstly, I am sorry but I can not attend the semi-final. However, if you get there, I will be at the final.

Your reward will be a nice shiny medal.

The key man for you boys is Big Phil. Without his loyal support and help on match days, all of our jobs would be so much harder.

Of course the management team are also key men.

Also, Luke Appleton is a great addition to the team. It is about time we had a decent centre back. When will he be made captain?

Bell Inn go 7 points clear at the top

The Bell Inn battled to a 6-1 win at Sloughbottom Park this morning in some terrible playing conditions.

(Below is Joe Pattison before kick off)

Their opponents, Sloughbottom Revoultion, were on a high after beating One Love last weekend but couldn’t compete with the attacking flair the Bell Inn possess.

Changes were made in preparation for next weeks County Cup Semi Final as we saw Danny Bland, Adam Brown, Jamie Butler, Liam Ward and Reece Ashman rested on the bench.

The yellows started well and took the lead after two minutes after Dale Simpson scored a trademark goal.

Despite a boggy pitch and 4 challenges, Simpson managed to keep the ball as his feet and slot it past the keeper.

Simpson does have some majestic power to just put his head down and run with the ball, beating every single player with every touch, bounce and bobble falling in his path.

James Hyde controversially was given a start at right back, despite being out last night until the early hours, tweeting to his fans how drunk he was.

Some of his touches early on confirmed that he was still drunk, which would had disappointed his on-looking father and sister.

This was Hyde was minutes before kick off.

Simpson made it two with another good goal and then won a penalty.

However, he refused to take the penalty so Simon Freemantle stepped up and cooly slotted home.

Managers Tom Brown and Neil Anderson were making subs regularly and taking full advantage of the roll-on roll-off rule, ensuring no one got too cold in the artic conditions.

Just before half time we saw a moment of genius.

Donovan and Luke Appleton worked together at the back to find Freemantle, who put through a glorious ball to Jamie Butler.

Butler, having a run up front after his recent spell in defence, controlled the ball first time with the outside of his boot and placed it into the top corner.

The fans were on their feet applauding the greatest team goal Sunday League has ever seen.

At some point in the half Sloughbottom managed a goal too.

Half time – Sloughbottom 1 v 4 Bell Inn.

The weather was poor but the Bell Inn were not at their best, probably due to an excessive night beforehand.

Simpson completed his hat-trick during the second half and Josh Farrow delicately chipped in a sixth goal to complete a 6-1 victory.

Stone came on up front for the last ten minutes, missed a sitter and then fell in the mud.

The 6-1 victory was earlier predicted by Simpson in the changing rooms. Very impressive. Match fixing?

The banter on the sidelines was good throughout the match with Nick Eagle, Lisa Johnson and Nick MacKenzie in the stands, along with the usual regulars.

Lisa attended with a huge umbrella but was outdone by Anderson, who had a slightly bigger one.

A slightly bigger one; something Anderson has never heard about him before.

Across the pitch were also four attractive ladies to which Brown had no other option but to approach and ask for a cigarette.

They obviously accepted and were heard whispering ‘Blimey, how attractive is he’ as he walked off.

However, Georgia Hyde, sister of James did decide to slate Brown’s hat he was wearing. She has since apologized on Facebook.

Final Score – Sloughbottom 1 – 6 Bell Inn

(Simpson 3, J.Farrow, Freemantle, Butler)

PLAYER RATINGS

Chris Richmond – 7 – Came off his line well when needed. Will probably be worked a bit harder next week.

James Hyde – 6 – MAN OF THE MATCH – Despite only getting a 6/10, receives Man of the Match for tripping over the ball and wearing a very small, revealing pair of shorts.

Richard Donovan – 7 – Subbed for the second match in a row. At fault for the goal. His Bell Inn days may be numbered.

Luke Appleton – 8 – First start of the year and seems much more at home for the Bell Inn than Mulbarton.

Robbie Stone – 6 – Begged management to give him a run up front. Promised a goal. Got ten minutes up top. Hit a shot out for a throw in.

Will Farrow – 6 – Angry, angry kid.

Jack Tarrant – 9 – The real man of the match.

Simon Freemantle – 8 – Despite being ill, injured and hungry he recorded 136 step-overs during the game.

Josh Farrow – 6 – Played up front with T.Brown on Saturday, clearly not as good without him.

Joe Pattison – 6 – In and out of the game.

Dale Simpson – 9 – I would hate to defend against him as he doesn’t even know what he is going to do.

SUBS

Jamie Butler – 8 – Spell up front was impressive with a good goal. Came back into defence and just as solid.

Liam Ward – 6 – Worked well on the right hand side with Reece.

Reece Ashman – 6 – Worked well on the right hand side with Liam.

Danny Bland – 8 – A rare appearance on the wing today and impressed with his energy and pace.

Adam Brown – 6 – Only played ten minutes.

Big cup semi final next week. A must win for a number of reasons.

And all I have to say about the league is this:

Also, a big thanks to our sponsors Pip Skips who have once again financially rewarded us for our efforts.

Without the Hyde’s we would struggle off the pitch but be a hell of a lot better on it.

And finally, I must issue a ‘FIFA Blog apology’ to Josh Farrow, Joe Pattison and Dale Simpson.

Kind Regards

Tom ‘Robbie Stone shut up and stick to defending’ Brown

Bell Inn stars in poetry challenge

When the Bell Inn players received their texts today about Sunday’s fixture, they were asked to respond in a slightly different manner.

Rather than a usual ‘yes or no I can/can’t play’, they were asked to reply to this request:

The responses were of a mixed nature.

Some words have been ‘blacked’ out due to the explicitness of the content.

 

Star man Simon Freemantle also replied but with no poem.

However, due to him being a good player, he will keep his place in the squad.

Also, it was decided that Will Farrow’s was too explicit to put online so you will have to speak to him personally to get a look.

We are still waiting to hear from goalkeepers Chris Richmond and Tom Collishaw, Danny Bland and Josh Farrow.

Unfortunately, Adam Brown will be missing this weekend’s game as he rests for the big semi final this week.

Paul Munday is still battling to get a place in the squad after being absent for 3 months.

And Danny Moore is still crippled.

If you don’t know the players personally, these texts give you a good idea of what they are like as a person.

Especially Reece Ashman.

Regards,

Tom ‘3 goals in one half, 3 goals in the other’ Brown.

Bell Inn impress as Simpson and Pattison hit 4 each

The Bell Inn took another step towards the Divison 2B title with an 11-1 hammering of Salhouse Rovers.

After weeks with no game due to adverse weather conditions, the yellows had almost a full squad to pick from.

Luke Appleton and Simon Freemantle returned from injury with James Hyde and Will Farrow returning from an alcohol fueled weekend in Newcastle.

Unfortunately, Leeds-born Robbie Stone was an absentee due to him visiting his shit hole of a town.

Managers Tom Brown and Neil Anderson decided to ‘unselect themselves’ and concentrate on managing.

Brown didn’t feature as he was worried he would embarrass the opposition after scoring SIX goals for Mulbarton the previous day.

Anderson didn’t feature because he is rubbish.

Semi-professional footballer Freemantle was controversially placed on the substitutes bench but took the news well as he is a top lad and respects the management and the club.

The opening 15 minutes were scrappy as the players took time to adapt to the muddy pitch and horrendous wind but took the lead through a 25 yard screamer from right-back Liam Ward.

Ward, who’s Mum is stunning and has somehow produced a kid as ugly as Liam, hadn’t scored yet this season so was pleased to open his account.

We are still waiting for Richard Donovan, Luke Appleton and Danny Bland to score. If they don’t, they will be released in the summer.

The Bell Inn then took control of the game with Dale Simpson his usual dominant self, causing the Salhouse defenders problems every time he got the ball.

He scored a deserved first half hat-trick.

Joe Pattison added to the tally a minute before half time after cooly rounding the keeper.

In between the dominance, Salhouse did manage to score on the break in which was their only shot of the game.

Half time – Bell Inn 5 v 1 Salhouse

Brown and Bean made four changes at half time, bringing off Donovan, Bland, Simpson and a very hungover Jack Tarrant.

To be able to take off four players of this calibre at the same time shows how good the squad actually is.

Freemantle freshened up the midfield and skillfully embarrassed their whole team with a catalogue of step-overs and ridiculous tricks.

Simpson grabbed his fourth goal and Pattison added three to his tally including a brilliant right foot curler which hit the post and went in.

Will Farrow capped off an impressive performance down the right wing with a goal himself. He also set up about 4 of them infront of his impressed Dad.

Goal of the day though has to go to Reece Ashman. Despite still being drunk at kick off, Ashman played like a man possessed and smashed in a 25 yard screamer which can only be described as Cristiano Ronaldo/Tom Brown like.

It was unfortunate for Salhouse as they had a lot of call offs the day before and brought in a few reserve players. They normally give us a really tight game and I still feel they have a chance of promotion his season.

I like Salhouse, they are my second favourite team.

Final Score – Bell Inn 11 v 1 Salhouse

(Simpson 4, Pattison 4, W.Farrow, Ward, Ashman)

PLAYER RATINGS

Chris Richmond – 6 – Can’t give him any higher as only had 3 touches. Threatened to go home at half time and spent the whole of the second half asking to come off.

Liam Ward – 8 – His Mum.

Richard Donovan – 8 – Solid captains display as usual; the goal drought is getting worrying though.

Jamie Butler – 8 – Impressive again.

Danny Bland – 8 – For some reason will only play left-back or up front, refuses to play left-wing. #lazy

Reece Ashman – 9 – Came off injured early on but re-appeared to score the goal of the season.

Jack Tarrant – 8 – Disgusting attitude by going out the night before. If he does this again he will be dropped.

Adam Brown – 8 – Failed to score, which is rare for the attacking midfielder.

Josh Farrow – 8 – Got frustrated at times due to being hacked but improved on his passing with a 93% pass completion rate.

Dale Simpson – 9 – Ridiculously good.

Joe Pattison – 9 – Found his shooting boots again.

SUBS

Will Farrow – 9 – MAN OF THE MATCH – Came only early doors with Ashman being injured and was a constant threat down the wing all morning, scoring one and assisting others.

James Hyde – 8 – Played left back and right back. Looked dangerous going forward as well as solid at the back.

Luke Appleton – 9 – Back in the team and makes a big difference.

Simon Freemantle – 9 – Class.

Today was one of our best performances of the season, which was important with the cup semi-final coming up in just 13 days.

I said to the lads before the game that they are all fighting to be in that 14-man squad for the cup, and all 15 of them showed today that they deserve a place.

With regulars Tom Collishaw, Robbie Stone, Neil Anderson and Tom Brown all absent today, along with a few others, picking the squad is going to be very hard. Next week everyone will have to prove to us again why they should be involved.

Its a team game and we have a great team.

Finally, thanks to the fans who turned out in force again.

Danny Moore, still injured, was of great assistance on the touch line as usual, supplying roll ups for the substituted players.

The the four ‘older’ fans enjoyed their mother’s meeting by the bush again yesterday morning, chatting about football and other varies related topics.

Next week we are away at Sloughbottom Revoultion, who beat One Love 3-1 this weekend.

So ignore what Anderson said about it being an easy game, they may actually be quite good.

Oh and one more thing, here is an interesting stat for you.

Last season we played 22 games, winning 10, drawing 3 and losing 9 with a goal difference of 9 and 33 points.

This season, we have played 12 and already have 33 points. We have won 11, lost 1 and have a goal difference of 50.

 

Kind regards,

Tom ‘6 goals’ Brown