The new season starts Sunday and the Bell Inn are probably all out drinking Saturday night to prepare for it.
Joint manager Tom Brown hopes so anyway…
‘The lads better all turn up Sunday with a hangover. After turning up for last season’s Cup Final sober and playing like that, I have decided sober players have no place in our squad’.
Brown however has decided to turn up with a clear head and has offered to work over night at ABC Taxis to keep himself off the streets.
It has been an interesting summer, with many of the squad going on holiday.
Winger Reece Ashman made this mistake and decided to punch a mirror. This resulted in serious injury and nearly a lost limb.
Luckily Reece survived and has declared himself fit for Sunday.
Neil Anderson has been on a couple of trips but is still yet to find the girl of his dreams, despite searching everywhere.
However, ‘Bean’ was spotted in Pulse the other week with these two stunners. He was later seen going home in a taxi with them.
Richard Donovan has become unemployed at the age of 28.
Despite having a very well respected family, the ‘tearaway’ quit his job and has started a new career in watching Netflix 24/7.
Donovan has only left the house 6 times in the last 2 months. Everyone is concerned.
Throughout the summer, many of the squad have been caught on camera a bit worse for wear.
Ben Fisher severely put this girl completely off him. Although not quite as bad as Bean’s attempt, Fisher is simply having a mare performing facial expressions like that in front of a girl of such standard.
James Hyde was caught on camera in a club in Zante, doing a poo.
The worst act though has to be Jesse Payne- Wilkins, spotted outside some flats in these pajama bottoms. Simply horrific.
Anyway, the Bell Inn have strengthened this summer and are looking to be a real force in Division 1B.
In case you didn’t know, this is now classed as ‘Senior Football’. Brown has waited his whole life to play senior football and it is rumoured that he will play himself non-stop until he has scored a goal.
This could take months, and could ruin the clubs chances of promotion but he doesn’t care.
Sunday at Poringland, 10.30am kick off.
Be there.
Kind regards,
Tom ‘#InBeanWeTrust’ Brown.
The Bell Inn F.C 