Babb linked with England job

Bell Inn reject Ian Babb has been named as one of the favourites to take Fabio Capello’s job as England manager.

Babb, 30 years old this month, has sensationally been linked with the role just weeks after quitting as the Bell Inn boss.

His odds slashed from 1000/1 to 5/1 in just a matter of hours, with only Harry Redknapp and Stuart Pearce ahead of him in the betting market.

The striker controversially walked away from the Bell Inn with just 3 games of the season to go, with rumours of ‘girlfriend-pressure’ being the reason.

Today, Babb gave his first interview since his departure, exclusively to TB Blogs.

He talks about the reason’s behind his shock departure, his plans for the England team at Euro 2012 (if he gets the job) and how his girlfriend would cope if he was offered the ‘biggest job in England’.

“I have applied for the England job as I have done something that no England manager has done since 1966. That is make it through to a major final (Norfolk County Sunday Junior Cup). My win percentage is better than the last English manager Steve Mclaren and I don’t have an umbrella. Also, I always pay tax on my money.”

The now ‘arrogant’ Babb went on to shock the reporters and the world with some controversial words.

“I’m not racist but first thing I would do is drop Ashley Cole, Glen Johnson, Jo Lescott, Kyle Walker, Darren Bent, Danny Welbeck, Bobby Zamora, Danny Sturridge and Rio Ferdinand. Simply because they all happen to be awful players who should never have played for England anyway. Theo Walcott can play but he’ll have to wear face paint, for intimidation purposes.”

This certainly is sure to upset the members of the One Love United squad, who the Bell Inn are due to play this month.

Babb went on to describe his managerial skills as ‘passionate’, ‘a master of team talks’ and ‘very attacking’. He doesn’t lie. It has been known that he has been level in a match with 10 minutes to go and withdrawn defenders for strikers, and lost the game.

As for the players he would pick, well again it is controversial but with in hindsight some very valid, realistic views.

“My captain would be Jack Wilshere. The guy is quite simply the future of English football and is probably the best player in the world right now, even though he has been out injured with a stubbed toe for the last 6 months.”

And as for his Bell Inn teammates….

“I have identified that England seem to have a lack of quality strikers at the moment and therefore a pacy goal scorer would be top of my agenda. So on that basis I would start myself up front as Player Manager. On another note, I would take Tom Brown with me as Assistant Manager to keep the team entertained as the Eboue of the dressing room as well as a scapegoat to blame it on if it all goes wrong. I would also take Bean as Joe Hart’s deputy goalkeeper as all other goalkeepers in the country appear to have retired from international football”

From a personal point of view, taking myself would be a great shout. But taking Bean? I wouldn’t even have him in the Bell Inn squad. He was signed for banter purposes and as proved in the last 6 months that he is nothing else but that.

Before heading off from the interview, to go and cook his girlfriend tea, run her a bath, buy her some flowers, write her a poem and cut her toe-nails, Babb did have time for one last dig at his former players.

“With regards to the other Bell Inn players, most of them can’t even be bothered to show up at Barnham Broom on a Sunday morning. Imagine if they had to get to Wembley on a Wednesday night. Pricks”.

This will not impress the squad but earlier in the day, a few of them did speak to TB Blogs expressing their opinion on Babb’s departure from the Bell Inn and his chances of getting the England job.

New striker Joe Pattison had a dig at his former manager, saying;

“Despite what a fine manager Babb is, would his girlfriend allow him to be England manager? He is a disgrace to the male race.”

Fellow ‘quitter’ Kris Lane also criticised the man who he regards as one of his best friends;

“He is not tactically astute due to his small meerkat-like head; it cannot handle too much information. My main concern would be if his girlfriend doesn’t let him out on weekdays and Sunday’s. Unless England play every single game on a Saturday afternoon, I don’t think he can be taken seriously for the role.”

Jack Tarrant went one step further and personally attacked the manager, who only signed him 4 months ago;

“The FA will not hire somebody with such a strange love of emo pornography”.

Even Neil ‘Bean’ Anderson stopped tweeting for a few minutes to give his opinion;

“If this happens I will leave the country and try for citizenship somewhere else. You can just see Emile Heskey, the professional equivalent to Tom Brown, starting up front. Also, I don’t think the players would be happy playing in a damp dirty kit every week.”

But captain Richard Donovan talked sense and mentioned that he would ‘welcome a call up to the England squad for Tom Brown’ and feels ‘Babb would make it happen’.

The final person to give their view was Liam Ward, who was dragged out of Coral by TB Blogs and just shouted, “Ain’t bothered bruv, fuck tha Bell Inn”. Then stormed back in and lost £300 on the spinner.

Will he get the job? He has applied and the bookmakers certainly thinks he has a chance.

In other news, Sunday’s game is almost certain to be called off.

Thanks for reading.

Regards,

Tom ‘weekend with no alcohol or football, I’m back’ Brown.

Bell Inn 2 v 1 Salhouse

Bell inn arrived at the home of football ( Barnham broom) ready for the game against a team they have never beaten salhouse rovers.. Little did they know that was soon to change – they had Pattison and (adam) brown playing..

The game started at a fast pace with the bell inn dominating the early exchanges.. Jack tarrant nailed someone after about 2 minutes and was subsequently booked – him lasting 88 minutes without another caution was very surprising..

The first goal came after about 20 minutes when a flick on from tarrant found its way to Pattison who went one on one with the keeper and put him on his arse for an empty net.. This was a goal of pure class and casualness from the striker.. The bell inn continued their dominance from the restart with babbs missing a one on one where he used his pace very well.. But the best was soon to come.. Babbs and Pattison with some great link up play on the with Babbs beyond the line of defence crossing in for bean who was 2 yards out certain to score.. However the law of percentages to not apply when bean is involved and he hit the post.. With babbs fluffing the rebound.. A supporter was heard saying “I think even Tom brown would of converted that chance” showing how poor it really was..
Half time Pattison 1-0 salhouse

The second half started the same with great play from saggy finding bean on the left and him playing in a delightful low cross for babbs to convert.. Babbs is a fine striker, it will be such a shame to see him with a thumb imprinted on his forehead.. RIP babb

The defence in this game had a fine game and managed to clear everything salhouse had to throw at them.. Donovan and Robbie were very solid and I think they deserve some mention.. Before I slate then for the salhouse goal..

The squad has been excelling in recent weeks due to the loss of brown.. And this was a very unlike our back four.. It was comical at times.. They tried to clear the ball about 7 times until Robbie smashed the ball into donovans face.. With the rebound falling to the on rushing striker who slotted – just. This gave way for a shaky end to the game when it shouldn’t of happened as we dominated the whole game and they were awful…

Great perfomance from the bell inn.. And a well deserved win..

Match ratings…

Tom in goal – 8 very safe from set pieces and pulled off a wonder save

Liam.. – 7 solid once again.. As well as a two footed challenge that went unnoticed

Donovan – 7 could easily have a hat trick each game with pattisons corners the goal at the end means he gets a 7

Robbie – 8 kicked the ball in donovans face enough said

Paul – 2 had to leave at half time due to family reasons

Reece – 7 worked tirelessly in midfield as usual

Jack – 8 played very well the brown tarrant partnership Is the best central midfield partnership in the league

saggy Brown 8 – was class in second half made a goal was calm
In possession.. Because he wasn’t hungover..

Bean.. Could of been a 9 but he missed an open goal -4

Babbs.. – as already said pattisons preferred striker partner works hard uses his pace.. 8.. however due to his recent resignation.. He does not deserve a match rating or to be affiliated with the bell inn

Pattison 9 – the reason we won

Carver 7 good player

Would also like to mention the general concencus of the squad was that we played much better without josh farrow

Babb resigns as Bell Inn manager.

QPR signed Cisse. Spurs signed Saha. Arsenal signed no-one of actual value.

However, the big stories of the January transfer window took place in Barnham Broom.

In recent weeks we have seen the Norfolk’s biggest Sunday team hit some incredible form and reach the dizzy heights of 2nd position in Division 3B.

However, two nights ago ‘player-chairman-manager’ Ian Babb resigned from the club with immdiate affect.

Babb started the newly-formed Bell Inn 18 months ago, reached a County Cup final and gained promotion in his first season in charge. He also pipped Tom Brown (27 goals) to the Golden Boot last year, with 28 goals.

But due to personal reasons, the 30-year-old has had to step down.

There are many rumours to why he has actually quit, including ‘wanting to spend more time with his girlfriend’, ‘afraid that he has lost his pace’ and ‘feeling he can’t cut it with proper strikers such as Brown and Pattison’. More is sure to follow…

That may sound like bad news. It is bad news. And you are reading this you are probably feeling a bit down, like you’ve lost a limb. But trust me, this next sentence is going to make you feel a whole lot worse.

Richard Donovan has taken over the club for the remainder of the season.

Donovan, 26, is the current captain and is not very popular in the changing rooms.

Since he has took a ‘more important role’ at the club, many players have left. The news of his appointment as manager is probably going to lead to the Bell Inn folding.

However, he is rumoured to be in talks with midfielder Martin Rix of Mulbarton Wanderers and left-foot-only James McCloy, currently of Wymondham Town to bolster the squad.

Despite this, there are strong rumours that Tom Harvey, former Mulbarton goalkeeper and assistant manager, is set to be in the stands for this weekend’s encounter at rivals One Love United, in the view to manage the Bell Inn next season.

Click on the link below to see footage of the potential new manager, recorded 5 days ago…

Harvey, newly single, has got drunk for the last 2 weeks on a daily basis, so would fit the role perfectly.

However, his lack of football knowledge is a well-known fact after he had a say in dropping Brown from Mulbarton First Team to the Reserves last season. The first team have never recovered from this.

As for this weekend, we will see the return of Brown to the Bell Inn.

Brown has been absent for the whole of 2012 due to a number of reasons, but has been sorely missed both on and off the pitch and has been persuaded to come back by the new manager in the promise of cigarettes.

However, many of the old faces have left the club in the transfer window.

Right-back Stu Henning has taken a break from the game to concentrate on buying house furnature for himself and WAG Parker.

Hardnut Ben Spalding has quit due to the fallout with team-mate Liam Ward. Since they have a fight at the end of last year, Spalding has been too scared to come to games.

Josh ‘Smitten’ Eyre has written off every weekend now due to his new love from Peterborough. Not only will Eyre miss the football, he will miss Friday and Saturday nights out which has upset Brown and Donovan, you used him as a decoy to get girls.

Kris Lane has quit too, but this is a good thing for the Bell Inn as he is a waste of space on the pitch. His Bell Inn career has ended with just 3 goals in over 20 games. As a striker, this is simply appalling.

However, I will miss Lane because he makes me look good.

The only addition to the squad in the transfer window is Luke Rackham.

Rackham, who has a bullet left foot, will fit into the Bell Inn squad nicely with his banter and football ability.

Also, last season’s goalkeeper and player of the season Chris Richmond has returned after months out, as an outfield player. This will be intersting to see how this goes.

In other news:

Joe Pattison has continued to struggle to score goals. 2 goals in 5 games in a league he thought he would dominate is not very good. Nor is he. Infact, he is very average.

Paul Munday has returned to the club and is looking solid at the back. Some even say he is the reason the Bell Inn’s form has turned around.

Neil ‘Bean’ Anderson has apparently been playing well. However, I haven’t been at these matches and therefore do not believe it.

However, rumours did surface online that Bean was on his way to Barcelona in a record-transfer deal, but it fell through at the last minute when he realised Spanish girls are better looking than English girls. He can’t pull English girls so a move to Spain would probably mean he would die a virgin. Click link below for the Barcelona rumours…

http://www.skybet.com/cms/breaking-transfer-news.shtm?name=Neil+Anderson

The Bell Inn travel to Nigeria this weekend in a top of the table clash against One Love.

It is the 4th time they have met, with the Bell Inn yet to record a victory.

One Love HATE losing.

I have a good feeling about this one.

Firm leader Rob Bingham has even confirmed he will be attending in case their is any violence on the sidelines.

Thanks for reading, I am currently in an Eastenders marathon so excuse any errors. I am only human. Albeit a very good human.

RIP Ian Babb, you will be missed but you are a nobhead right now.

Regards,

Tom ‘I hate One Love with a passion’ Brown.