The Squad

1. CHRIS RICHMOND – Goalkeeper

An original from the Bell Inn that started in 2010. Top goalkeeper who picked up Managers Player of the Year in the club’s first season. Missed a few months last season after claiming via text that he had a ‘terminal back injury’. Smokes 20 a day and can often be seen drunk on Saturday nights hanging around Pulse with Liam Ward.

2. ROBBIE STONE – Defender

The squad’s ‘funny-man’, Stone is another original and has a tendency to get lost and be late for every single game. Despite coming from Dereham and supporting Leeds, has very good banter, is a solid defender (when sober) and has a dangerous left foot. Not in the squad on football ability, just in there because he is funny. Goes out in Norwich most Saturday’s dressed as a clown.

3. DANNY BLAND – Defender

Despite looking awful in this picture, Bland is usually one of the better looking players in the squad. Started the Bell Inn revolution this time last year when joining the club from Poringland Wanderers. He came, many followed. Can play left back or centre back and is a crowd favourite due to his history of playing the trumpet.

4. JACK TARRANT – Midfield/Chopper

Tarrant is one of those blokes who is nice as pie off the pitch but on it he is an animal. Well known for his strong challenges in the centre of the park, Tarrant scares opponents within minutes and makes the midfield his own. Bit of a dodgy hair style at the moment but has a very pretty girlfriend so he must be doing something right.

5. RICHARD DONOVAN – Defender/Captain

One of the club’s senior  and most mature players despite having the highest attendance in Norwich’s local nightclubs. Donovan is the captain and leads from the back. Has occasional mood swings but loves the club like its his child. Despite starting over 50 games for the Bell Inn at centre back, is yet to keep a clean sheet.

6. ADAM BROWN – Midfield

The uglier of the Brown brothers, which isn’t even an insult as not many people are as good-looking as Tom. ‘Saggy’ joined the club at the start of 2012 after previously abusing the Bell Inn on social network sites. Has now fell in love with the Bell Inn and is a pivotal part of their success. Technically one of the best players at the club and is the squad’s vice captain.

7. REECE ASHMAN – Winger

Ashman is an original Bell Inn boy and also now a proud father. Over the years he has turned from a chav who hung about Prince of Wales Road on a daily basis to a grown-up who is now actually fairly decent at football. Kills defenders for pace week in and week out and has recently improved his final ball. Seems to have thrived under the Brown-Anderson management.

8. DALE SIMPSON – Midfield/Striker

Grew up playing football on Badger Green in Mulbarton with the likes of the Farrow’s, the Brown’s and Bland. One of the most exciting yet most unorthodox players you will ever see. Always puts in 100% effort, terrorizes defenders with his non-stop running and has the ability, and luck, to dribble past any player in Norfolk. A match winner, loved by everyone but a complete tool at times.

9. SIMON FREEMANTLE – Stiker

Undoubtedly the best player in the league. Freemantle joined in the summer of 2012 on a free transfer to link up with his pals from Wymondham. Ridiculous skills drive defenders mad and can finish just as well with either foot. Rumour has it that Norwich City are back after him to help them stay in the Premiership, after wrongly releasing him as a youngster. However he would turn down the move to stay with the Bell Inn.

10. JOE PATTISON – Striker

Despite still looking like a school child, Pattison is allowed to play adults football. Like Saggy, used Twitter in 2011 to mock the Bell Inn but then signed for them. Struggled for goals in the 2011/12 season but started the following season on fire. Pattison is well-known for his annoying phrases such as ‘glorious’, ‘godly’ and ‘AVB’ and for his undying love of Tottenham Hotspur.

11. JOSH FARROW – Midfield/Striker

Although he gets a lot of stick from his team-mates, Farrow is one of the Bell Inn’s top performers. A set-piece specialist, Farrow has a deadly left foot which results in many spectacular goals as well as lost balls. Joint shortly after Bland in 2011/12, he finished second top goalscorer that season. Ego currently at an all time low as he has left Cromer and to join Mulbarton Wanderers Reserves.

12. LIAM WARD – Defender/suspended/injured

Ward was at the club when it formed in 2010 and has been an important part of it since. Can play anywhere down the right or left and isn’t scared of a tackle. In fact, he loves dirty tackles. When Ward is not injured or suspended, he spends his time wearing face-masks and his girlfriends underwear (check Facebook for evidence).

13. TOM COLLISHAW – Goalkeeper

At 6ft 5, Collishaw is the tallest player to ever play for the Bell Inn. Joined the club in 2012 and was a key part to the team’s improved form towards the end of the 2011/12 season. Turning up to most games with a Costa coffee in hand, Collishaw is especially handy at coming out to claim corners and putting our strikers through one-on-one with his massive kick.

14. PAUL MUNDAY – Defender

Munday is another one of the club’s funny men. Has very good banter and an extremely good-looking girlfriend. Most of the squad fancy the pants of her but Munday has her and we must respect that. On the pitch, Munday has been at the Bell Inn since they formed despite living all over the country. Can play right-back or centre-back and has a tendency to trip over the ball and score own goals. Arsenal fan which makes him a good man.

15. WILL FARROW – Winger

Probably the most inconsistent player at the club. When playing well he can be the best player on the pitch. When not, he loses the plot and concentrates on hacking down players and swearing at refs rather than football. Fast winger, just as comfortable on either flank, like his older brother he can hit a ball from anywhere and find the back of the net. A good summer signing and also handy on a night out as tends to drive the drunk people home safely.

16. JAMES HYDE – Defender

The older brother of Georgia Hyde, James signed on the dotted line at the same time as his pal Will Farrow this summer. Hyde is a solid right back who is quick and has good feet. Co-owner of the famous Pips Skips, a sponsorship deal is in the pipeline for the Bell Inn. This is the only way Hyde will keep his place in the team so for his sake let’s hope it happens.

17. NEIL ANDERSON – Joint manager/Winger/Striker

One half of the dream management, Anderson has helped transform the club around with Brown. His business like brain as well as his good organisation skills have impressive everyone and he is finally accepted into the club where he was once a ‘joke player’. On the pitch we have seen a dramatic improvement from Anderson this season and currently gets in the squad on merit.

18. JAMES OLSSON – Defender/Midfielder

Joined the club in the summer of 2012. A long time friend of manager Brown, Olsson is one of Norfolk’s best table tennis players. Despite never playing 11 a side football until this season, Olsson impressed in pre-season. Likes to keep the ball simple and can pick a pass. I have decided to show Olsson in cartoon character as I think he looks better in cartoon than in real life.

19. IAN BABB – Striker

You wouldn’t believe it from the photo, but this guy is the Bell Inn chairman. Babb, now in his 30’s, had to take semi-retirement from Sunday football due to his age. He does still however make an appearance from time to time. The club legend has been the Bell Inn’s top goalscorer for the two years since they were formed.

20. DANNY MOORE – Defender

Moore is another contingent from Wymondham who was brought in by Brown and Anderson in the summer of 2012. The centre back, who is just as handy at right back, has unbelievable work ethic and just doesn’t stop running. Loses the ball 80% of the time but then wins it straight back. Prone to breaking his nose.

21. LUKE APPLETON – Defender

Appleton joined the club a few weeks into the 2012/13 season and is an experienced defender who knows what he is doing. The best footballer out of the four Appleton brothers who all play their Saturday football at Mulbarton, Luke can play anywhere across the back and is a threat going forward, both in the air and with the ball at his feet.

22. TOM BROWN – Joint-manager/Striker/Model/God

Despite looking grumpy and having dodgy looking eyes in this picture, Brown is not only a great manager and striker, but a very good looking one too. Brown took over the management with pal Anderson in the summer of 2012 and made some high-profile signings as the club have grown into one of the best Sunday sides in Norfolk. As a player, Brown is a lazy, useless striker but will guarantee you goals.

23. JAMIE BUTLER – All rounder

Butler, aka Pike, was signed on a free transfer from Deopham a few months into the 2012/13 season. Originally signed as a striker, Pike has shown his adaptability by making a name for himself in defence. Since his arrival, he has impressed his fellow players and the fans with his hungover yet outstanding performances. Pike spends his spare him down the LCR with the club’s photographer Matt Clarke.